You are currently browsing the daily archive for October 14, 2005.
The house has stalled. The builder has been playing phone tag with us for 4 weeks now. We were to meet him on-site but somehow, mysteriously, he couldn’t make it and sent his talkative assistant to meet with us. I can’t help but feel ignored. My SO and I are not talking about it at all. Every time I bring it up, he cuts me off. “Don’t want to talk about it.” “I just get angry.” “You can’t change anything so drop it.” I’m having a hard time with this. We’ve been within 3 weeks of completing for over 2 months now. Insurance is about to run out and our 2nd loan extension soon goes poof.
Relationships are weird things. My SO never felt like he needed to talk to me. When questioned, I got the old “I just want to relax”. So we fell into this, I babble and he stoically listens. Every time I’ve attempted to change this, I go quiet and he just waits me out. These little tug-o-wars have gone for weeks. Neither of us are rude, just quiet. Sometimes I think I just gave up because I wasn’t sure what I wanted and let me tell you, it’s been an up hill battle lately (even before the house) to really give a shit. No romance. No zing. Just tired.
The house hasn’t helped. We’ve had this stress drag out for so long and so much put on-hold, that I think when we finally do move into the house, I’m going to find it hard to be excited.
I just want to be treated as if opinion counts and I’m someone special. I’m amazed at how much my spirits are flagging. Physical conditions, job stress, and the damn house are leading me to just shut down emotionally. It’s pretty hard to get excited about my birthday when all it reminds me of is that I need to schedule a doctors appointment. Cause after a lets-wait-n-see for months now, things are not getting any better. I’m not sleeping well. I’m irritable and emotional as hell. Hey when’s the last time you cried at a feel-good commercial for god’s sake?
On a much happier note, go see the latest Wallace n Gromit. If that doesn’t make you forget your worries for a few hours, then you must be dead.
Ciao
Thoughts of an Old Fart 