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My mind is a whirl with dark and dangerous thoughts. What do you do when you realize that your life will never be as intense as a movie or a story. When your reality is shadowed by your current book, how do you stop yourself from thinking? My dreams have left me with a paranoid feeling. The feeling that an on-coming light is really a train and no one is telling me….
It all started with reading a tech manual with my headphones on. I didn’t realize how dark my music is. How angst, soul-searching, and challenging to the norm. It seeped into my unconscious and now is leaking in to other parts of my life. Take that in combination with the tunnel vision I have found as I get older, to completely tune out the world and focus on something.
Now to shake this off and go wander around on this beautiful day and look at the cherry blossoms.
Ciao
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Still here, still missing my deadlines, and still feeling completely overwhelmed by life. New employee starting in a week. He will be working for me without ‘working for me’. He answers to my boss, but answers to me for his work. I have a weird sense of excitement mixed with trepidation as his start date looms ever nearer. He came recommended to me and now that I’ve met and gotten him hired, I wonder if my judgment of people will be proven correct.
He’s quick, intelligent, and cute. But rumor has it he has a temper. We will see. But now I find myself trying to get his cube ready, making sure he has what he needs, and getting him a computer. None of which are my responsibility. It’s almost like going on a date. You want to make a good impression. I mean I will have to work with this person most of my day here at work and I’d like that to be a good thing.
I find myself going back and forth. Happy to have help but paranoid enough to wonder if he will replace me… Geez…
Ciao
Goal: To park in the garage.
As each weekend rolls around, we start the ‘Dance of 5 Boxes’. “Must unpack 5 boxes”, is our chant. All weekend we wander around the house trying to put things somewhere, anywhere. Just some place that makes sense. Things go in the trash only to mysteriously reappear. If one spouse throws it away, the other might pull it out. Several arguments and snit fits have ensued. Nightly ninja trash can raids have been witnessed by the locals. The dreaded ‘guilt card’ has even been played.
The other night I caught myself actually running the bag right out to the curb. If you don’t want to take the trash out, then suffer the consequences.
I win! I win! I win!
Ciao
Thoughts of an Old Fart 