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“Aw Wendy. You should have seen all the people at the memorial service. The church had standing room only and people were packed in everywhere. There was laughter, tears, and much sadness. Stories of your laughter, cars crashed, peas, and elevators. Your kindness and strength.”
“You would have been amazed. You touched so many lives.”
“Where ever you are, I hope you know you were loved and still are.”
“She’s gone.”
“Shit. Shit. Shit…”
Still screaming inside. But made it through the night. Still waiting for another episode. I wonder how people who take chemo or get series of shots, deal with it. Chanting in their heads, “This will make me better.” The whole time their heads are screaming, “Noooooooo.” Their bodies turning into one big knot of tension.
I cant imagine getting rabies shots over and over and over again…
Life goes on,
Ciao
I’m screaming inside. I’m shaking with cold and I’m tired of feeling every little twinge in my body as if I’m about to throw up. I don’t know which is worse: getting sick or the damn medication Doctor keeps prescribing. The more I take, the more awful I feel. The Dr has no idea why this is happening. I’m pretty sure that the first round of meds probably caused all this and now they can’t figure out why it keeps happening.
When I feel better, I have this voice in the back of my head saying, “just wait, just wait.” And when it happens all over again, it’s there yelling, “you’re gona’ die.”
Maybe I’ve been in the house too long. But I cant afford to not work, so working from home is it.
Now if I could just get through till Monday, when the test results come in, to see what the hell I’ve got. Now I’m worried there won’t be some big red glaring thing and they will put me on yet more meds to make me sicker.
Sigh… Ciao
Ever get Vacation Blues in the middle of your vacation? Just got back from the beach. The best weather we’ve ever had. The house was magnificent. The company so-so. The food tremendous as always. But about half way through the week, I found myself getting the blues. I fought back with a flurry of activity.
We had so much potential in the house. My SO was crabbing about all the stuff I brought along. But when you go to the beach in October you have to be prepared for August or November weather. I had puzzles, tons of books, and a big box of movies. The house had a to-die for media room. Not a TV or home theatre system, but a media room with a 100″ screen, surround-sound, multi-level seating, and complete blackout curtains. I wanted one.
The owner called on Sunday to let us know we had the complete NFL Ticket and just about every channel on Satellite known to man….
Kinda’ getting why it got depressing coming home today?
This vacation also was a first for me in that I turned off my blackberry… Off I say. Not peep or ignore, but completely off, delete the email off. Frightening at first, but liberating!
Ciao
Thoughts of an Old Fart 